Help Me Believe, It's Not the Real Me (Tag Evaine)

Jim could see the sun setting as he looked out the window, and the sight of it made his hands tremble. He closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to stay calm. Everything would be okay. Everything would be alright. He had Professor Rivera on his side. She would make sure nothing bad happened. Of course, that was almost an irrational thought since she was back at the school and he was at the Shrieking Shack, but he pushed that thought away. Thinking about her gave him a sense of comfort, that he wasn't completely alone. He tried to focus that on the last moments of daylight, and as the moon climbed higher and higher in the sky.

No matter how many times the moonlight hit him, no matter how many times he went through the transformation, it never got any easier. It always felt like the first time, like he was experiencing the white-hot searing pain as if it were a completely new thing. He kept thinking that one day, he could make through the transformation without screaming, without twitching and writhing on the ground, without curling into a pathetic ball and wishing he could die so he wouldn't have to experience the pain ever again. But, that was an impossible dream. Even those who had been a werewolf for years couldn't make it through the transformation without screaming and thrashing about in pain. Jim went through all of those things as he did every full moon. Even though it only took a few moments, it seemed as if years had gone by before the human part of him died away, and the animal took control. He threw his head back and howled, his nerves burning with fire and his heart craving for flesh to sink his teeth into.

Evaine was down in the common room grabbing some books to read to get her mind off of things. The kiss, Leroy, her mother.. Jim. She sighed, her ears perked up hearing the door opening from upstairs, hiding behind the piano, the ravenclaw spot Jim walking out. Now where is he going? she thought waiting for him to leave before she started following him. Remembering what Emily and Maggie said about him being the wolf she still didn't think it was true. Sure she knew they wouldn't lie to her about that but this was Jim. He was sweet and kind, nothing like what they said. As daylight was dieing, the moon started raising higher and higher in the sky.

Evaine climbed under the hole under the weeping willow that lead towards the Shrieking Shack. Why was she going this after the first time? The girl had no clue maybe it was because she was curious about Jim and if what Emily and Maggie said was true. "Jim." she said quietly, taking slow easy steps into the room. There was Jim for a brief second, her eyes widen covering her mouth she couldn't believe her eyes. The werewolf was Jim! Jim was a..werewolf. Holding her breath her tried to stay quiet so he couldn't see her, taking a step back her shoes made the floor squeaks.

Jim panted for breath as the last of his human senses left them, and the senses of an animal replaced them. Sure, his vision got dimmer, but his hearing became sharper, and new scents hit his nose that his human one could never detect. The world around him was harsh and bright, but it was the world of a werewolf, so he would have to deal with it. The color red seemed to be painted over his eyes like a pair of contacts, making it seem like everything was soaked with blood. Suddenly, his ears perked up as he heard a sound. Creaking, the floorboards. His head whipped around towards the sound, spotting Evaine. Of course, he didn't recognize her as such. He just saw any old person, a hunk of human flesh. But a human would satisfy his blood lust, his need to attack. A low, but menacing, growl ripped from his fangs as he advanced towards her, his footsteps almost silent against the floorboards.

Evaine didn't know what to do, run, hide? Or take her wand out to defend herself long enough to find a place to hide?Whatever way you put it, she needed to do something long enough for the sun to come back up but most of all make sure she doesn't get bit by him. Her hands slowly reached for her wand but she couldn't do it, no matter for terrified she was at this very moment, Eva couldn't hurt Jim. Even if it was to protect herself this was still Jim and she could feel bad if she hurt him. Think Eva think.. Quickly pulling out her wand she pointed it close but not to close to hurt him "Expulso!" she said. Fell bad she quickly dashed out of the room running downstairs. Where to hide, where to hide!.


(( i'm going to be leaving to see a movie with my mommy Very Happy. to see Snow white and the hunchman, it's a two hour movie. So if your not on by the time i get back i understand.))

Jim may have been faster as a wolf, but he wasn't fast enough. The spell hit him with full force, knocking him backwards into the opposite wall with a crash. But the werewolf gene protected him from any serious damage, and he soon pulled himself from the wreckage with a snarl. By the time he got to his feet, Evaine was gone. But that didn't mean she was out of his grasp yet. It took him only a moment to lock onto her scent like a bloodhound and he was soon on her trail, nose sweeping the ground like a metal detector. His senses felt alive at the thrill of a chase. It would make the kill even more satisfying once he had caught up with his prey.

((Ooo, you'll have to tell me how that goes! I've been thinking about seeing that movie, but I'm not the hugest Kristin Stewart fan. XD))

(it was simple awesome far as i can say nothing like the snow white movies i ever seen before. More fighting into this when you think nothing ells could happen. BOOM another fight begins <3 and i loved seeing Kristin Stewart getting her ass kicked XDD )

Evaine tried to get a grip on things, tightening her grip on her wand she kicked one of the doors open. Running inside she closed it just in time before the wolf caught her, letting out a blood curdling scream pushing her body up against the door. Calm down, calm down before he can scents your fear Eva keep telling herself. Tears falling from her face, she was scared to death, scared of Jim. Breathing heavily she ran over towards the desk pushing it in front of the door to buy her some time to think of her next move. "Oh god, oh god.." she cried, running her shaking fingers threw her hair. This is Jim... Jim..He's is nice and sweet.. Think about that.. He can't tell who you are at this moment.. Evaine screamed again seeing the wolf's claws, covering her mouth she was now terrified more than ever of what this wolf was capable of doing next, knowing if she tried calling out to Jim. He wouldn't even known it was her.

((Hmm, maybe I'll have to check it out sometime. I know my brother was thinking about seeing it, and he's usually Mr. Macho when it comes to seeing movies. XD))

Jim's head snapped. A door, being opened. He bolted towards the sound, his legs carrying him faster and farther than his weak human ones. Even though Evaine shut the door by the time he got there, he still threw himself against it, over and over again. Her screams only egged him on, slamming his body against the wood, slowly gaining ground, inch by inch. Wood chips got under his claws whenever he dug them into the floor, until finally, he made enough space to squeeze his way through. He growled at seeing Evaine, her terrified face meaning nothing to him. She was only prey to him, nothing more, nothing less.

((but Kristen stucked at acting, it well worst going just to see the evil queen ))

Evaine fell backwards pushing herself away from the wolf until her body was against the door "Jim.." she cried. Her hands where clammy from sweat barley able to hold onto her hand. "Impedimenta." she cried pointing her wand at the wolf dashing towards the other side of the room. One of the floor boards was loosen as she jerked it hard breaking it, to use as a weapon. She held it up ready for whatever he had planned, slowly walking over towards she door. Eva had to think of a better plan than this, and boy was this going to be a long night. At the end she might have to hurt Jim just to protect herself.

The spell hit Jim full-on, a perfect bulls-eye, making him cry out as he was blown back. Even as a wolf, he was barely able to handle the blow of that spell and it took him a moment to get to his feet. But the effects soon wore off, and he was snarling as he slowly approached Evaine, knowing that she was a formidable enemy now. And not only did she have her wand, she had a sturdy plank of wood in her hands now. No doubt she would find a clever way to use it. Jim's tail twitched, his primal way of thinking getting in the way of coming up with a strategy. One of his paws clawed at the floor, leaving marks on the wood.

Her fear soon turned into sadness she was hurting Jim, the one only great thing in her life. Sure now that she knows what he truly is and was terrified of this side to him, Evaine still loves him. It hurt her deep inside that she would even hurt him. No, she had to put her feelings aside for the moment but god she didn't want to hurt him. "damn it." if only she knew that spell Professor Rivera used on him the first time. With out thinking she dashed for the door climbing threw the hole, her pants leg ripped a little almost cutting her leg, running back upstairs she pushed some stuff off the stairs to keep him from catching up to her. Which why to go, stay inside or try going out? She didn't have much time to think before trapping herself in the same room that started it all. "Stay, stay.. sun will be up.. please some up soon." she sobbed

As soon as Evaine bolted for the door, Jim took off after her, jaws snapping all the while. He nearly got her when he caught up with her on the stairs, but he only succeeded in tearing a hole in her pant leg. Growling, he continued after her, chasing her down almost like she was an obsession to him. He didn't recognize the room that he had transformed in, only that he had managed to find Evaine again. This time, he didn't hesitate in letting out a snarl before lunging towards her. Hesitation had caused her to get away from him earlier. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

((Let me know when you want to time-skip to Jim transforming back. ))

"No!" she cried falling back the held the plank up pushing him off her, but he was to strong. His teeth snapping at the plank, she reached out for her wand, he manged to claw her arm. Crying in pain Eva used all her strength to stab the wolf in the eye using the end of her wand. Kicking him off, she swung the plank against his head hard as she could to hopefully make him unconscious until the sun showed up. Breathing heavily Eva's arms started to shake, heck her hole body started shaking.


((Okay you can time-skip <3 ))

Jim growled and snarled as his claws and teeth tore against the plank of wood, desperate to get to Evaine. He had a moment of satisfaction when he managed to rake his claws down her arm, but that was short-lived. He gave a howl of pain as Evaine jabbed her wand into his eye and he hurriedly backed away, head bent down as he scraped at his eye with his paw. His moment of distraction was enough for Evaine to knock him out cold with one swing of her wooden plank. In a flash, everything went black.

When Jim felt consciousness tugging at the back of his mind, he registered the warm sunlight on his back, the rough floorboards under his hands and cheek. He groaned and struggled to open his eyes, but the right one was hurting something terrible. He hissed in a breath as he clamped a hand over it, wondering what the heck he had done to himself the first time. He struggled to see with only one eye as the other tried to right itself. He managed to push himself off the floor, although his legs felt too shaky to support himself. He needed a moment to get a hold of himself. It was when he finally turned around did he notice Evaine, huddling in the corner, pale and shaking like a leaf. Of course, he was still a little foggy in the head, and he figured it was all a hallucination, a dream. "Eva, is that you?" he asked, his voice a little slurred as he struggled to wake up.

Evaine ran her fingers threw her hair pushing her leg against the wolf making sure it was really out before she walked over towards the corner. Pressing her body against the wall she slid down. Pulling her knees closer to her chest she rocked herself trying to get this night out of her head. Her arm hurt so much from him clawing her, she didn't know if she'll be scared when Jim finally wakes up or be like her same old self, hugging him and full of love.

Not once had she moved from that corner, her body shaking from fear her cloths had the smell of blood from her arm. The ray of the sunlight shined over them as Evaine was half asleep from crying. Hearing that Jim was waking up her head perked up seeing him. Biting her lip she left horrible for hurting him "Eva, is that you?" he asked. Crawling over towards him, her hand reached out gently touching his eye "I'm so sorry.." she said.

Jim blinked several times, trying to see if he could use his right eye without hurting it too terribly. But when he felt Evaine's hand on his skin, something inside him seemed to jolt, as if he was shooting up into a sitting position after waking up from a nightmare. He knew Evaine's touch, he knew how her fingers felt, the palm of her hand. He knew how it felt, and this, this was real, no dream at all. The realization made his eyes widen, pain forgotten, drowsiness gone. He saw the dried tears streaks on Evaine's face, the hole in her pants, the claw mark on her arm. He felt his heart go ice-cold, almost as if it were stopping mid-beat. He shook his head as he backed away, hands starting to tremble. "No, no, no, this...this can't be....it can't..." But no matter how many times he said the words, no matter how many times he blinked and hoped to wake up, the situation didn't change. Seeing Evaine was proof enough. She had been here when he was a werewolf. She knew what he was. And he had attacked her. He had hurt one of his best friends, the person who meant the most to him in the entire world.

"No, no, no, no! This can't be happening! It's not supposed to happen!" His voice shook, despite the volume of his yelling. He got to his feet as if he wanted to run, but his knees knocked together like he had a bad case of stage fright. He stumbled against a wall, leaning on it for support as fear gripped him in an iron fist, squeezing him until he thought he couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Evaine knew what he was. She would surely hate him now, hate him for the monster he was, hate him for causing her harm. He closed his eyes as he buried his face against the wall, not having the stomach to look at Evaine. "You weren't supposed to find out this way," he said, almost as if to himself, his voice cracking. "You weren't supposed to see me like this. Not like this, not this way."

"No, no Jim." she said calmly seeing the look on fear on his face as his hands tremble. Watching him stand up on his feet trying to run, his knees gave out on him as he stumbled against a wall. "Jim don't run away.." She said walking over towards him. So this was what he keep trying to tell her, why he didn't want them to be together. Why he keep calling himself a bad person. Her hands wrapped around him not knowing why she just didn't run off in fear leaving him like this. Why didn't she hate him, after what he done to her. "It wasn't your fault, you had no control.." Eva said calmly "I'm so so sorry i hurt you.". She keep saying over and over not even caring that he clawed her arm, almost bit her several times. All she could think about was how she hurt him, she cast spells at him, stabbed him in the eye, hit him over the head with a wooden plank. "Please don't run away from me..." her voice cracked up like she was about to cry.

Evaine was scared of him she wasn't going to lie about that but fearing of loosing the most important person in the world to her. Scared her the most, she tighten her grip not wanting to let go of him.

"What? You're...worried about me? Eva, look what I did to you." Jim felt tears sting his eyes, but he blinked them away. He had already lost control once tonight, he didn't want to lose it again. "Your arm...I hurt you...I frightened you...Any longer and I probably would have bitten you..." He took half a step back, sniffling loudly as he tried to hold himself together. "I'm a monster, nothing more than that. I didn't want you to see me like that, when I was so...dangerous. I was gonna tell you, I swear I was, so you could protect yourself from me. I was just...waiting for the right moment..." Tears blurred his vision again and he struggled to speak through them. "I just...I didn't want to lose you...I didn't want you to...hate me...or...be afraid of me..." He sucked in a deep breath, trying to stay calm. But he still felt a tear fall and he tried to wipe his eyes quickly, hoping Evaine hadn't seen it.

"What this." she glanced down at her arm "It doesn't hurt that bad." she lied but didn't want Jim feeling worse then he already has. Sighing "I'm not going to lie to you, yes you frightened me.. I was scared to death but I knew you couldn't control yourself Jim... I didn't want to hurt you it pained me to cast spells on you, stabbing you in the eye.. hitting you with a wooden plank.." She frowned when he took half a step back. "Your not a monster Jim.. If you was a monster you couldn't feel this must guilt... Stop torturing yourself please." she begged not like seeing him like this. He was far from being a monster in her eyes, to her a monster was like Leroy.. He had no heart, no guilt and here Jim was feeling bad for what he has done. If was truly a monster he couldn't have felt this way "I don't hate you Jim.. I Um..." she looked down thinking maybe this was the best time, or maybe it wasn't "Your the most important person in the world to me Jim.. I never want to loose you.. I don't hate you.. I don't h a t e you and I'm not afraid.." her hands reached out touching his cheeks looking at him dead in the eye, she couldn't hate him. No way, no matter how scared she was, she couldn't bring herself to hate Jim.

Jim couldn't say anything for a moment. His throat felt choked up as the tears started falling. He couldn't hold them back anymore, and he was beyond caring at this point. He felt like his heart was as heavy as a boulder. Then, he finally threw himself into Evaine's arms and started sobbing like a small child. His shoulders shook as he buried his face into her shoulder, finally able to let out all the fear and pain he had felt. He knew the sensible thing to do was run, tell Evaine to never see him again, but he couldn't. Doing that would be the most painful thing ever. He couldn't push her away, not when being near her was the only thing that had the slightest hope of comforting him. Even though he was relieved beyond belief that Evaine hadn't deserted him yet, he still felt terribly afraid. He couldn't shake off the initial horror he felt from seeing that he had hurt her. "I'm...so sorry," he sobbed, his choked up as he struggled to speak through his tears. "I...didn't mean...to hurt you...I tried...to warn you...give you hints...but I still hurt you. I'm so sorry, Eva." His shoulders heaved with every breath he took, but he still fought to get the words out, desperately hoping that Evaine would understand.

Evaine was a bit shocked that he was crying, struggling to keep herself from falling when he threw himself into her arms. She frowned running her fingers threw his hair to calm him down "Shh, shh, Hey now.." she spoke calmly. Eva would feel Jim shaking like a leaf, scared for what he has done, what he could have done. Using her other hand to gently rub her thumb against his cheek, she lowered her head resting her chin on his head. "I love you.." she said quietly, wanting to say it to where he could hear it but maybe once he gets done crying. "I understand Jim, you tried to warn me but I didn't lesson. You give me hints and I didn't pay attention..." she didn't know if she should tell him about Emily and Maggie. He was already suffering so much, telling him about the last full room would kill him.. "Jim there is something I have to tell you.."

(want her to tell him about the last full moon or not?)

Jim tried to stop, tried to get a grip, but he just couldn't stop crying. All the pent-up emotions he had hidden, all the fear and worry he had experienced since keeping this secret from Evaine, it all seemed to finally come out as tears. He just felt broken down, stripped to the bone, completely exposed. He kept feeling like he was caught in a raging river, and Evaine was the only one keeping him from being swept away completely. He almost held Evaine in that way, like she was the only one keeping him afloat. "No, it's...my fault," he murmured, feeling ashamed that Evaine was trying to comfort him by blaming herself. "I should have...just told you from the start. I knew I could trust you, yet...I still didn't tell you. I hid my secret like a bloody coward and you got hurt because of it..." Tears still fell from his eyes, but he could feel his voice getting steadier as time passed. Having Evaine's arms around him, having her shield him from the world made him feel safe, protected, almost like he was with Professor Rivera again. He looked up, some fear still in his eyes as he looked at Evaine. "What? Was it...something I did...as a...as a..." He shook his head. He couldn't say it.

((It's up to you. I have to go to bed now, but I'll reply in the morning. ))

"Jim, Jim.. you was scared of how i would take it.. stop blaming yourself please." she said holding him tightly. Eva couldn't imagine how much pain, fear and worry he had bottled up inside him "I understand why you keep this from me Jim.. come on..." Eva kissed his forehead, wanting to take his pain away like he tried for her. "Your still Jim.. Your still the same boy i feel for when i was young, a shy little girl scared to talk to a cute boy like you. Thinking you was to good for me, a damaged child with a parent who beats on her. Secretly watching you threw out the years, still scared to get the courage to talk to you.." she spoke not caring what she was saying now. She giggled slightly at her words making it sound like she was stalking him. Lifting her chin up as Jim looked at her, she whipped his tears and peeked his nose, "Last full moon... Emily and Maggie... saw you turn into that... I was there but i didn't see anything cause i was trying to get hiccup away but stubborn boy wanted to see a real werewolf. Of course Professor Rivera was there along with Miss. Melgrove." Evaine took a deep breath.. "You um... attacked Emily.. She wasn't hurt thanks to Miss.Melgrove getting to her before you could do any harm, then hiccup's dragon hurt you..." she ran her fingers threw his hair again.. "None of us blamed you then... well i didn't i was worried about if you where okay.... Emily is now afraid of you sadly.. They told me you was the werewolf but I didn't believe them.. I told Emily what a wonderful sweet guy you are...That you wouldn't hurt anyone but i guess she needs to face you in order to believe that."

(( okay and good night sweet dreams ))

Jim looked up at her, feeling a little surprised. "You...noticed me back then? When...I was younger?" Evaine had known about his existence before this year? He was astounded that she had watched him all this time and he hadn't noticed. Maybe he had been too wrapped up in his own problems and worries to notice her. "I'll never understand your good opinion of me," he muttered. "Most people would have run by now. I mean, you know how wizards think of werewolves. We're the lowest of the low, nothing more than people with a monster inside them that can't be controlled. We're nothing to them..." His voice trailed off, not wanting to continue talking about that. His parents always worried how hard it would be for him out in the real world, when people would have to know about his werewolf nature. He looked up again as Evaine talked, told him how Maggie and Emily knew what he really was, how he had fought with Hiccup's dragon. He felt disgust and horror well up inside him. He had attacked Emily, an innocent child? No wonder she had been giving him weird looks. She had been afraid of him. No wonder Professor Rivera had asked him if he really wanted to know what had happened before she had found him. "Oh God...I tried to..." His hands trembled again. "They know too? Oh God, oh God..." He buried his face in Eva's shoulder, his own shaking as his breathing became erratic. "Eva, what am I going to do? They'll hate me forever, they'll be think of the wolf every time they see me. What if they tell other people, and more find out what I am? Eva, I can't...I'm not ready for this yet. I can't let everyone know..." He felt a tear slide down his cheek, but that was it. It seemed like he had spent most of them earlier.

Evaine nodded smiling down at him "Yeah, I had this silly little crush on a boy who didn't even know I existed back then.". Then again Eva was used to being invisible back then, she made sure no one notice her. Sure Leroy notice her and fell her him for making her feel special but she still liked Jim and watched him. "Well I'm not most people am I?" Eva giggled, "I'll never leave you, what can I do to prove that?" She wanted him to stop talking. He needed to rest up, calm down. Seeing the fear in his eyes again as she told him about what happened last full moon, she held him tightly. "Shh, Jim c calm down." Her voice started cracking, hands trembling from seeing him like this. "I'll talk to them, I'll make sure they keep their mouth shut about this.. I'll keep you safe I promise Jim.. I promise." she cried. "Calm.. Calm down.. I hate seeing you like this.. I'll do everything I can to make sure no one ells finds out about this.."

"But Eva..." Jim swallowed, still not able to grasp that Evaine would be loyal to him until the end. "Crushing...on a werewolf? Is that wise? I mean, I know I'm...me, most of the time. But when the full moon comes, I can't tell who's friend or foe. You saw that yourself. I would attack a friend the same way I would attack an enemy. If I ended up...turning you into a werewolf...or killing you...I would never be able to forgive myself." That had become one of his worst fears this year, hurting one of his friends beyond compare, or ending their life with his own hands. He tried to calm down, but even in Evaine's arm, he couldn't stop his shoulders shaking with every shuddery breath he took. "I'm sorry, I just...I've never...dealt with anything like this before. I never had to worry about hurting with people I loved because...I was always alone. You must think I'm so weak..."